“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever loved for the sake of something greater.” The Divergent Series
For me, God has asked me to give up my friends and family for His sake. To follow Him into the unknown in the nations. Sometimes His call seems daunting, scary, and overwhelming. Yet He hasn’t called me to be brave, He has asked me to be weak, to be open to see and feel the hurt of The Father’s heart for His hurting children in the world. Sometimes I want to turn away from His call and run and hide from all the ugliness. Part of me wants to forget what I’ve seen and heard over the past few months. But then I think about and see all the faces of all the people I’ve met along the way, and then I know there’s no way to remove them from my memories. Nor would I want to. I am now apart of their stories, and they are part of mine. Without the past few months I would be a different person. A person who, nine months ago, I wouldn’t recognize. A person who I don’t think I would like much. I’ve come to realize that I needed this season; not just for the next season but also to become more of the person The Lord has created me to be.
As I look over the past few months I know I gave my race everything I had to give trusting Him to fill me up and carry me the rest of the way. Many times I wondered if I would make it to the end. Many times I wondered why He chose me to go away with Him for nine-months. Each time that I began to question Him I heard His soft gentle voice say, “Because I love you. And I have so many gifts to show you.” I know His words hold nothing but truth, and His words warm me with peace. At the end of each day I know if given the choice again I would choose Him. I would give everything up to follow Him through the nations.
As the journey back to the States begins, I know The Lord is calling me into a season of being there. Yet I know The Lord isn’t done with me in the nations. And I know the day will come when He calls me back out again.
As I prepare to travel back to the place that I once called home, I know “home” has a new meaning, and I know no matter where I go He comes along aside of me, and where I am with Him I am home.
