Mustard Seed

A few nights ago I had someone asked me if I had raised all the money I needed for Immersion. I laughed and replied that I hadn’t even reached a thousand yet. They then question if I really thought I would get it. I told them I had decided to trust that God would provide it. If that wasn’t discouraging enough, they then asked me why I was planning to quit my job when I needed it the most. I simply answered, “Because God told me to.” And left it at that.
That conversation left me thinking, how crazy am I to quit? And then I realized that I am indeed crazy. This whole thing is crazy. That’s why when God first asked me to step out in faith and quit my job I doubted His ability (How stupid I am?) and I didn’t listen.  Six months and many sleepless nights later, I finally wanted to quit, but at this point I needed the money my job provided. So, again I stayed. Then one fateful night came along when God brought me to Matthew 17:20 which says, “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there.’ And it would move.” Just so you know, that’s the worst possible verse to keep you from quitting your job. I sat there not knowing what to think or say. I quickly shut my bible and went to bed. The next morning I had to be at work at 8:00 for a meeting.  During the entire meeting and for the rest of the day I heard God’s voice whispering, “I want to grow your faith to the size of a mustard seed”.
For the past few months God has impressed upon me that He is leading me on a path much different from other people, a path that most wouldn’t understand. I never knew that path would be mean unemployment when I needed so much money. But yet that is exactly what God has asked of me. Fear has taken over many of my thoughts. Thoughts that I won’t be able to raise $12,000 without this job. A job that I do hate (but yet a paycheck all the same) and people I work with that I do indeed like. Yet, God knows all of this and He still has asked me to leave it all behind and trust that He will provide.
God is trying to grow my faith, which is so small that just 1/10^th of an inch is huge! I want faith that can walk on water to get to Jesus, I want faith that can move mountains. Faith that looks at $12,000 plus and sees no fear, but instead sees the beauty and growth that will come through it. In order for this to happen, for my faith to grow I’ve decided to take that first step.
Last Saturday I put in my two weeks notice. As of March 1^st, I will be unemployed. With no income coming in I’m trusting God has a much bigger plan than what I can see.
So, here I am Lord, grow my faith to the size of a mustard seed.