He is Fathful

It’s been over a month since God asked me to step out in faith and quit my job. It wasn’t an easy decision. I remember coming home from my last shift at Sonic; millions of things kept running through my head, but the feeling of fear overcame all other thoughts. Part of me wanted to run back and beg for my job back. But the thought of explaining my reason for going back to God brought me back to reality. This is where He wants me – jobless, and broke. I couldn’t understand why God would ask me to give up money when that’s what I needed. Yet, all the same I knew God had asked me to do this.
In the weeks that followed I’ve gotten more sleep than I have since I started at Sonic, spent time with friends and family, fundraised, and did school work. But within a week the thought of spending all day long at home no longer appealed to me; still God didn’t provide a job. The weight of needing $11,900 began to hang over me at all times. It took everything for me to stay positive in front of people, but when it was only God and I tears became common; I was overwhelmed with everything. All the same I was praying for God’s will to be done. Then one night I realized I had never asked Him for the things I needed. I knew He already knew them, so I didn’t find it important to list my wants and needs. I began to realize that when God said He wanted to grow my faith that meant much more than leaving my job.  It was then I heard His soft strong voice saying, “Ask Me”. I sat still not knowing how to ask for $10,000. I quickly opened my Bible to Psalms. I felt like in every chapter I read that night, everywhere I looked the Word said, “He is faithful” or “His love endures forever”. I sat telling myself I already knew these things. Yet over and over I heard God saying, “I am faithful, and my love endures forever.” I sat there starting to slowly believe it myself. Then and only then was I able to lift my hands and voice to ask for $10,000.
Since that night I’ve started praying for my team, $10,000, girls trapped in sex slavery, orphans, Central America, Southeast Asia, Africa, the spirit of peace, faith the size of a mustard seed, and most importantly thanking Him for faithfulness. I’ve now been doing this for three weeks, and amazing things have been happening. God has wrapped His arms of peace around me. I’ve raised $2,500 that only leaves $9,000 left to raise. But most importantly I see my faith growing. I’m not just saying I know He will provide, I KNOW He will provide. Because He is faithful! When He asked me to quit my job I know to most people it looked like I was making a huge mistake (I was one of those).  Yet He was still faithful.
Wednesday morning God showed how faithful He is. You see, I had given up trying to find a job. If God wanted me to have a job then He would have to provide one. And that’s exactly what He did! After I received the phone call offering me a job I spent the remainder of the day thanking and praising God for His faithfulness.   
 In the past month I’ve grown, not physically, but spiritually.  God is tearing down walls here and there, throwing in a new story where He sees fit. Turning my heart into a place fit for a king to live in. I know what walls have to come down first: the ones I’ve built myself. They are the thickest and strongest of them all.  But God and I know it’s time for them to come down.  I know in order for my heart to be fit for a King those have to go first. I lay in the quietness of the night knowing what is to come, knowing that their removal will hurt, but after this past month I know I need it; I need this for this fall. I fought Him for years on this matter. But I’m done fighting Him. “Ok,” I say in the quiet of night. No other words are needed. He knows all the words I can’t find, and understand what I mean when I said “Ok”.
 
I lay there in His promise, He is faithful, and His Love endures forever.